STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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