I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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