You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
