MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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