I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
there is glitter all over my balls
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize