Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize