dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
