Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I think I died a long time ago.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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