In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
