We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
