we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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