there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
