I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
