I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
