at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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