its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
