you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
