I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
smell my finger.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
