Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize