well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
What drink are we having for lunch?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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