you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
