Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
