I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
