Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
