just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
