You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
