I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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