so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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