We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
