Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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