Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
