I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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