do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I want to make a zoo with you.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
