wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
there is glitter all over my balls
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
