Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
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