so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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