I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
So many bounce houses so little time
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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