hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Still dying that you shit outside
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
