4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
