i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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