I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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