Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
