i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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