I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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