real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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