um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
