there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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