you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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