Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
