he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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