I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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