I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
