Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
