i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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