if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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