i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
