yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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